Courtship Dating
by squinttt
Summary: Bella is oblivious when it comes to her relationship with husband - James. What happens when she loses her memory, and realization strikes her? Bad summary, starts off slow but will end up as BxJ. Read & Review! Rated M for language.
1. James

I drove home at an exceedingly fast speed. James would be home any minute, and I haven't even started cooking. I pushed the pedal with a little more force – now going 83 mph when I had 55 mph speed limit.

"_Thank God there are not any boys in blue out," _I thought to myself.

A few minutes later I pulled into my driveway, grabbed the few groceries I had out of the backseat of my Scion tC and ran inside the house. As I walked in I sat the bags down on the marble island, completely oblivious to my angry husband sitting at the dinner table. By the time I noticed him he was sending death glares my way.

I tried to be casual.

"James, hunny, you're home early." It came out sounding more like a question than anything else.

"I know. I thought Id come home early and surprise you. Tell you that instead of cooking tonight we could go out to eat, as a reward for good behavior, only to find you weren't here." I could hear the aggravation radiating in his words while he spoke.

"Oh... I-I'm sorry James."

He disregarded my apology.

"Where were you?!" He spoke through clenched teeth.

"Grocery store…" I said timidly.

"For three hours, Isabella?!"

"I-I… I went to the library, also…" _I've always been a bad liar. Well, technically I wasn't lying._

"Then where is your book, Isabella?" _Shit._

"I didn't check any out. They didn't really have anything eye catching."

He scoffed. "Please. As if you would actually go to the library without grabbing something."

I didn't know what to do.

I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off.

"Don't lie to me, Isabella. Where were you?"

"I told you. Library and grocery store."

"Really?"

I stared down, afraid.

"Yes." I said, barely above a whisper.

"Then why did I get a call from Panera telling me you got the job?"

I stared at him, eyes wide.

"How many times have I told you not to lie to me, Isabella?!"

"I'm sorry James, it's just that I knew if I told you I was applying than you would've said-"

"NO! No, no, no! How many times must we have this discussion?! You cannot work! You must stay at home, clean the house, do the laundry, and make the meals, like a perfect wife does!"

I looked down; I knew I wouldn't be winning this argument. He was right, of course. He always is.

This seemed to displease him.

He stormed over to me and slapped me dead across the face.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

I raised my head and stared at him, holding back whatever tears I could.

"Why are you crying, you pathetic little piece of shit?!"

I let the tears fall, as I had nothing to say.

"Answer me!"

He grabbed me by the collar of my blouse and lifted me up, forcing me to look into his hatred filled eyes.

"I-I… I don't know, James."

This only furthered his aggravation.

He threw me at the wall; my head slammed into it and I started to cry more because of the intense throbbing in my head.

He walked over to me, practically seething.

"Don't fucking cry!" He yelled. "You deserve this!"

He kicked me in my stomach, brutally.

My hands left my bleeding head as I grabbed at my stomach; I was in so much pain.

He stopped kicking me and knelled beside me, cupping my face with his hand.

"You know why I had to do that, don't you Isabella?" He said calmly.

"Yes" I practically mumbled.

"Tell me" He said.

I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Because you love me. You're just trying to help me."

"That's right, beautiful. Now what do you say?"

"Thank you, James. I love you so much."

He smiled, obviously pleased.

"You're such a good learner. I love you too, baby."

With that he kissed me lightly, and lifted me off the ground and cradled me in his arms.

He brought me up to our bedroom, before setting me down.

"Go take a shower, sweetheart." He said before kissing again.

I nodded and walked into the bathroom.

I turned on the water and waited for it to heat up, stripping from my clothes in the meantime. Once it got hot enough I jumped in, and began scrubbing myself until my skin turned red. I wouldn't want to upset James by having a speck of dirt on me. Eventually I got out, wrapped myself in a towel and looked in the mirror. I noticed a large purple welt on the side of my face, one of James 'love marks'. I sighed as I walked into our bedroom and slipped into a pair of flannel pajama bottom and a tank top James had left out for me. "He's so sweet" I thought to myself. "I wonder where he went". I laid down in bed and snuggled into my blanket, awaiting him. After what felt like hours I heard him slip in through the door. "Sorry" He stated. "I was eating leftover since we didn't have any dinner tonight…" He trailed off, and I could sense him becoming angry as he remembered why he hit me a few hours ago. I immediately felt bad for upsetting and disobeying James. "I'm so sorry, James! I'll make you a big breakfast in the morning, I promise. I'll stay home all day and clean everything, I'll make sure everything is beyond perfect, just for you."

He smiled at this.

"Sounds good." I smiled too, and beckoned him over. I saw a wicked grin appear on his face before he jumped into bed, grabbed me and hungrily started placing kisses on my neck. I stifled a moan as he nibbled on my delicate skin. I felt him pull on the hem of my tank top, and I quickly lifted my arms to let him pull it off of me before wrapping my arms around his neck. He kissed me hard and passionately, and I smiled, ready to please James.


	2. Dark

**A/N:** I forgot to add this to my last chapter:

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, I only own the plot. I also do not own the song "Courtship Dating", that belongs to Crystal Castles!**

I'm new to this whole thing, so sorry if the last chapter was kindof hard to read =(

Butttt! Thank you to bostonlover47, my very first reviewer =)

OH and i kinda cant fit this into the summary, buttt their all human!

On with chapter two! Haha =)

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A few weeks have gone by since I got the job, and a few things have happened. James let me keep the job, but only as a part-time. He said it was only a temporary thing, until we had children and I had to stay home and take care of them – which was.. understandable, to say the least. I was thankful that he even let me keep the job, I should've never disobeyed him in the first place. However, keeping the job meant taking out time from my usual day, and it left me less and less time to do my chores, which meant more and more punishments from James. I didn't blame him though, it must be awfully frustrating to come home to a messy house sometimes.

-//-

I took the day off today; I figured I could use the extra time to clean up the house a bit more. It would relieve some of James' stress at least. It was about 7:00 now. I had already cleaned the entire house – it took some time but it was definitely worth it. I just finished straightening my hair and was now working on covering up the now yellow-purple bruises on my face. I smiled to myself, as I thought of how well they were healing. James loved my hair straight, and my face clean. He didn't like to see the bruises, so I covered them up well, but he also hated it when girls wore a lot of makeup, so I kept that to a minimum too. I wasn't too sure what to wear, but James liked it when I wore dark blues, so I put on a blue blouse with a small scoop neck to it and beige shorts.

I finished setting the table, and was now just standing around waiting for James arrival.

He gets out of work every night except weekends at 8, and is home by 8:20. After a few minutes of standing, James walked through the door with a solemn look on his face, but smiled when he saw me waiting.

"Smells good in here." He commented as he set his suitcase down on the marble island.

"Thank you for cooking" He said as he hugged me.

"Anything for you!" He smiled before kissing me.

He motioned towards the table and we both sat down and started to eat.

I didn't like to eat much.. James wanted me to keep my figure, and it was a lot easier this way.

We didn't really talk much during dinner. James would talk about work and how it is running his own business and things like that, and he'd ask me how work is going.. that was about it. There wasn't much else to talk about, although you'd think there would be. We'd been married less than a year, and I've only known him for almost two. Sometimes when I thought about how little we talked it and long we've been together it would bother me immensely. I wasn't sure why this upset me.

As I was washing the dishes James got very, very angry. It surprised me at first – I couldn't find anything I had done or said that was wrong. Then I noticed that one of the cabinets was open, and he could see that I hadn't arranged the canned food and spices like I said I would; it must've slipped my mind. James absolutely hated it when everything wasn't perfect – including the arrangement of food, and I can't really blame him. It does seem to be a bit annoying.

"Oh, I'm sorry I left it open, James…" I turned to go and close the cabinet, but he grabbed my arm and twisted me back around to face him.

"Why didn't you rearrange it like I asked you to?"

"I-I just forgot James, it slipped my mind. I'll go do it now."

I rushed over and just started turning and fixing things the best I could within a few minutes, I didn't want to take too long, and I knew that if I could at least make it look like id fixed it, than I could just do it again later.

"I'm sorry James, it won't happen again."

"I know, sweetie, I know." He beckoned me over, and I complied.

Once I got within arms reach he sneered and slapped me, hitting some of my covered bruises. I was sure it would leave another mark. I fell down and cupped my soon-to-bruise cheek, knowing that I deserved this for not doing as I was told. I always deserved it. He walked over to me, laughing. _Laughing._ I'm not sure why, but this bothered me indefinitely. Whenever he laughed as he hit me, I knew he was doing it just for fun, and this raised anger in me. He grabbed me by my hair and lifted me up, pulling some out as he went.

"You like that, Princess?"

Calling me 'Princess' was another sign that this was just for fun. I was infuriated, I have no idea why.

I screamed out in pain and tried to grab at his hands, and he simply dropped me back down, laughing. I was so lost in my anger driven thoughts that I didn't realize it when he was hovering over me again – didn't notice, that is, until he grabbed me by my hair again and yanked me up.

"Stand up, Princess."

I stood up, and again tried to yank his hands off of me. He laughed as I continued to tug and tug and tug, so when that didn't work, I decided to go for a low blow and kick him where it hurts. I had no idea where this disobedience was coming from, but a part of me felt brave.

My bravery was short-lived.

I saw the sneer grow on his face as I backed away from him.

He hissed my name and I swear I was shocked into place. It's kindof like those horror movies, when you're watching and the serial killer comes up to kill the innocent girl, and she stands there in shock, awaiting her death, meanwhile you're screaming in your head for her to move. It was kindof like that. Only, James wasn't a serial killer. He was my husband.

I felt bad for hitting him.

I stood there, knowing I deserved whatever punishment I got.

The last thing I remember was being thrown at the marble island before everything went dark.

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**A/N:** That was maybe a bit confusing? haha.

I know you're probably waiting for Jasper to come into the story.. it'll be soon I promise =D

thank you for reading!


	3. Hospital

**A/N: **Thanks to all my lovely readers and reviewers! I appreciate it.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story, I only own the plot. I also do not own the song "Courtship Dating", that belongs to Crystal Castles!**

I'm sorry for the delay =( I've actually re-written this about three times. but i mean it's summer, can you blame me? :) Ill maybe update again later tonight? If not, ill have two chapters for you tomorrow, im really sorry!

OH AND I just watched "How To Be" I know im pretty late on it.. but it was super good, im still giggling. Has anyone else seen it?

id reccomend seeing it~!

I've written too much.. On with the chapter, yes?

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I stared around the room, looking at all the bizarre looks on the faces of the people around me. They were all facing each other, talking.. none of them seemed to notice that I was squinting in their direction. So, I opened my eyes a little wider - well, tried to anyway - before the bright light hurt so bad that I choked out what would've been a groan if my throat wasn't so dry. All of the people in the room turned around as if alarmed, and ran to me. One of the men in the room ran to my side and grabbed my hand. I was a little taken aback, _who was he?!_He grabbed a glass of water that I noticed had been sitting on the counter and handed it me. I drank it greedily, and the dry burning feeling in my throat was relieved a bit.

"More?" I croaked.

"Of course." The strange man said. He beckoned one of the nurses over and politely asked her to bring me some more water, to which she obliged and left the room.

He turned back to me and grinned brightly. "How are you feeling, hun?" _Hun. I must be dating this man._

"Im okay." I said as quietly as I could, I didn't want my voice to come out as that awful croaking sound yet again.

He frowned. "Does anything hurt?"

I didn't realize until he said anything that my head did actually hurt. It started out faint, but the more I sat here the more it started to come back to me. "Oh, well, my head hurts a little. But it's awfully faint."

"Where on your head, exactly?"

"Are you one of the doctors?" I didn't mean to say it, it just kindof came out. I felt bad for a second, but then again, I was curious.

He chuckled before answering, "No. No, im not."

"Then would you mind telling me how it is I know you?" I didn't mean to be rude, but I really wanted to know.

His face saddened. "You mean you don't remember me?"

"No.. I don't. Who are you?"

"Im James Parker, your husband."

"M-my.. my husband?!"

"Yes, your husband. Of almost a year now."

A year. A whole year, of marriage?! How old am I? _Who am I?!_

All these questions struck me so hard and fast I didn't even realize I hadn't been breathing.

"Breathe, Bella, breathe!"

So that must be my name then.

"I am Bella, you are James?"

"Yes, yes dear that's right."

"And.. we are.. married, for almost a year?"

"Yes."

"So, how old am I?"

He sighed deeply. "This is much worse than I thought." he said so lowly, im not so sure I was even supposed to hear it. He stared down at our my hand inwhich he was still holding, interwined our fingers and just stared. A few minutes passed by, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"James?"

He quickly lifted his head to look at me. "Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. Sorry about that, I just needed a minute." _Or a few _I thought to myself. _No, let's not be rude_ I scolded myself.

"Alright. Would you mind if I asked you something?"

"Ask away."

"Uh, I was wondering, how old am I? And why aren't my parents here? Are they.. alive?"

He smiled. "You're 23, I am 27. Your parents aren't here because.. well.. they don't know you're here. The thing is -"

"You haven't told my parents Im in the hospital?!"

"I have good reason, if you'd let me explain."

I stared, waiting.

"Well.." He started. "The thing is, your parents don't live around here. You're from a small town called Forks, in Washington, you lived there with your dad - Charlie. Your parents aren't together, and your mom lives in Jacksonville, Florida. Her name is Renee, and she lives with her husband, Phil."

"I see."

"Yes, and, well. When we got married -" He smiled at me again and squeezed my hand before continuing, "When we got married, we moved away from Forks, and we moved to West Windsor, New Jersey."

"Why here, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, you didn't want to move to anywhere big, and this is a small town, somewhat like Forks. The weather is nicer than Forks and I wanted us to start off our marriage somewhere completely new. It's also the ideal place to raise a family."

Family. Did we have kids?

"Do we have any children?"

I seemed to have caught him off guard. "Well, no.. not yet. We've been trying, though."

"Oh, okay."

He nodded and the conversation ended. The nurse came over then, I think she had just been waiting for us to stop conversating. I honestly didn't need the water anymore, my voice had come back. I took it to be polite, though.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No, thank you." I smiled at her, she smiled back.

"Does anything hurt?"

"My head hurts a bit, but it's nothing too bad."

"Could you bring her some pain killers?" James asked.

"Of course, sir."

"Thank you." She nodded, and with that she left the room.

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**A/N:** I haven't read the twilight books in some time, but I don't believe they give James a last name. If they do and someone seems to know it, would you mind telling me so I could fix the chapter? :D

Oh, and I couldn't find much information on West Windsor, NJ, so if anyone knows anything, or you happen to live there, PM me!

thanks for reading =)

love ya!  
Alexia


	4. Home Sweet Home

**A/N:** Okay, so this is the second chapter tonight, like I said =)

Umm.. I don't have anything to say other than hope you like it!

**I don't own twilight or crystal castles!**

James told the doctor that we had gotten into a little argument and as I was walking away from him I fell down a fleet of stairs. After a long talk about how I should watch where I walk, my condition, and how the doctor recommended therapy to help me maybe regain my memory, we had finally left the hospital. I was in perfect condition, aside from the swollen bump in the back of my head and loss of memory. The doctor said that the bump should be gone within a few days, and that she set me up with a therapist that I begin seeing in three days. Woohoo.

When we got home that morning James was acting strange. He wasn't his nice, polite, sweetheart self like he was in the hospital. Rather, he was this impatient, constantly annoyed by everything man. Whenever I would try and speak he'd cut me off and tell me to go do something. And when I refused he'd give me this look.. I don't even know how to begin to explain what it looked like. But it scared me pretty bad, so id go and do whatever it was he told me to do. I instantly noticed how weird our marriage was, if you could even call it that. We acted nothing like a married couple. He'd tell me what to do, and I would do it. That was about it. It was like he controlled my every move. Let's just say I wasn't too crazy about that idea.

Around 4 that evening he told me to make him dinner. I asked what he'd like and he just scoffed and walked out of the room. I was growing more and more aggravated. What was this guys problem? What kindof a husband is he? I started to wonder what I must've been like before I lost my memory and I so desperately wanted to remember. Something told me that asking James wasn't the best idea. I'd been living here for a mere 6 hours and I already hated this man. That has got to be a world record.

I had no idea what to cook him, so I looked through one of the cookbooks that were laying around and flipped it to a random page that read "Vegetable Rolls," and that's what I ended up making. He wasn't too please when he saw it, in fact, he looked disgusted. That aggravated me. I couldn't take his bad attitude anymore.

"What is your problem?!"

"Excuse me?"

"What is wrong with you? Ever since we left the hospital you've had nothing but a bad attitude towards me! What the fuck did I do to you?"

He stood up abruptly and clenched both of his hands into fist. I stared, waiting, wondering what he was going to say – or.. do?

His hands relaxed. "You little bitch. Who do you think you are, talking to me that way?"

"You have no right to make me do everything while you just sit on your ass all day and complain! I'm sick of your shit!"

"Watch your mouth, princess. You're lucky I don't just knock some sense into you."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

I stared in disbelief. Why had I stayed with this evil guy in the first place? I wasn't going to sit around with him, and let him boss me around and just pretend like everything was okay. No. I may not remember who I am, but I'm not going to sit around and take this while I wait for my memory to come back.

"I'm leaving." I said it so quickly, i wasn't even sure if he'd caught it.

"What did you say?"

"Im not going to take your crap as I wait for my memory. I'm leaving you."

"And where exactly are you going to go, Isabella? You've got no family here, no friends! All you have is me!"

I hadn't thought about that, I stood there, dumbfounded, thinking of something to say. I wasn't going to let that stop me.

"Didn't remember that, did you, Isabella? No, you don't remember a thing."

I just glared at him, he was right. But so what? There has got to be some sort of womens shelter here. Not that I could find it...

"Let me remind you."

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**A/N:** I know, its short! I'm sorry!

Ill update tomorrow =)  
love ya!

Alexia


	5. Easy Does It

I notice that whenever I say ill update I don't end up doing it, and when I don't say anything I do.

I should maybe not say anything, Im a bad liar.

**I do not own Twilight or Crystal Castles!**

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I started seeing a therapist, the one that the doctor appointed me. Mr. Whitlock, "call me Jasper". He would say that alot when I first started coming to the sessions, but now he's just Jasper. We never really have anything to talk about, so we just kind of sit and watch each other. Usually he'll ask me about life at home, things like that. I never want to tell him, but I know I need to if I want my memory back. I usually give him some sort of half answer, to not give anything away.

James was driving me to my session, _again._ He didn't want me to drive myself, he said I wasn't "capable" of that just yet. Pfft.

I dragged myself into my session, dreading it. Not that I didn't like Jasper, he was actually pretty charismatic. Not to mention attractive, not that I could say anything about that, ever. If James found out.. oh, if James found out.

Well here we were again. Just me, sitting and staring at Jasper with nothing to say. It would've been awkward if I wasn't completely comfortable. This was way better then being at home, and I was getting used to this.

Jasper looked at me and shook his head before sighing. "Isn't there anything you'd like to talk about today, Bella?"

"Not really, nothing new's been going on."

He sighed again. "Well then maybe we should end the session early for today. It doesn't seem we've been making any progress."

My eyes grew wide. Going home early? Hmm.. no.

"No, that's okay. Let's just stay here."

He eyed me skeptically. "Why?"

"Well I mean we've only got like another half hour, it'll go by before you know it. Why leave early?"

"Why stare at each other for a half hour?" He smiled when he said that, as if he knew he was getting to me.

Stupid therapist.

"Fine, fine. What do you want to talk about?" He sat back down.

"Life at home."

"You always want to talk about life at home!"

"It's the subject you're least comfortable with. We never talk about it. I think it'd be better if we did."

"I don't think so."

He looked exhausted. "Fine."

We sat in silence again, for a good three minutes. It wasn't as comfortable as before.

"Life at home is great." I said finally, my voice came out a bit bitter.

He had his face buried in his hands, and finally looked up from them. "Is it?"

"Wonderful fabulous."

He smiled at the sarcasm in my voice. He had a nice smile..

I mentally slapped myself for that.

I'm allowed to think though, aren't I?

I was so caught up in my own mental conversation that I didn't realize Jasper had been speaking to me.

"Bella? Bella? You there?"

I blushed in embarrassment. "Oh! Sorry. What'd you say?"

He laughed a bit, and I stopped myself from oogling.

"I said I can practically see the sarcasm dripping off your voice. What's going on at home?"

"Just James being James." I said as casually as I could.

"I see." He said more to himself then to me. "Everything's fine then?"

This was one of those times where I have to decide - tell Jasper, or don't tell Jasper.

Hmm..

Ish tell Jasper.

"Not exactly.." He practically jumped out of his seat.

He stared at me with wide, excited eyes. "What exactly, then?"

"It's been..." _How do I say this, how do i say this._ "It's been.. rough.. I guess."

"How so?"

Typical Jasper. Digging for details.

I love how I talk about him like I actually know him outside of being my therapist.

I was suddenly really sad, and somehow Jasper managed to notice.

"What're you thinking about? What's got you down?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Alright."

At least he wasn't pushy with his digging.

"Anyway.. Life at homes been kind of rough. Dealing with the marriage and everything. Just rough."

"I see."

"I don't know, Jasper. It's hard."

"What's hard?"

"The marriage! I don't want to be married to him anymore, but I don't know how to escape!"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Escape? What do you mean by escape?"

"I used the wrong word. I meant.. I don't know how to end it."

"Im so sure. What's going on at home?"

"It's just been rough.."

He was about to say something before I looked at my watch and told him our session was over. With that I thanked him and told him I'd see him in two days. I called James and was back to cleaning and cooking and my lovely way of avoiding beatings in a flash.


	6. Extended Arms and Plans

Okay, so I think I should move the story along, otherwise it'll take.. so many chapters to get her away from James.. haha.

OH AND partial credit of this goes toooo MyManIsJacksonR-JasperW for helping me with this idea (:

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It's been almost six months since I got out of the hospital, and the more and more sessions I had with Jasper the more I lost hope of regaining my memory. It seemed like the more and more time I spent in his office the more and more my hope faded. It was odd, though - the more I didn't care to remember my past, the more I felt like I was having deja vu like moments. That's maybe because I'm just reliving, I guess, but still, it freaked me out. I mentioned this to Jasper and he asked me what it was I had felt like I was reliving. All I mentioned was that when we'd fight id feel like Ive seen it all before (which wasn't really a lie, by the way), and he said that maybe we had had these arguments previously. It didn't mean much anymore, and I didn't care about regaining my memory. Who needs memory? A part of me kept the will there, but then again, I just had this strong feeling that it didn't matter - life then was the same as it is now, and it didn't seem necessary to me.

Jasper always had some sort of counterattack waiting for me. "It is important though, don't you see? Don't you want to know how you used to be?"

"I - er - no?"

He looked surprised. "Really? Hm."

He stared off then, he seemed lost in thought. I never bothered him when he did this, it was entertaining to see. It sounds weird, but when he does things like this I feel like he's not my therapist, like he's my friend. Ever since I've been home I've noticed that I don't have any friends, and something tells me that that's not really my fault. I wish he was actually my friend, and not my therapist. I always wonder whether or not he does consider us friends, and I sometimes want to ask - but can you imagine just how awkward that would actually be?

_Hey, are we friends?_

_So Jasper. I know you're my therapist and everything, but I was wondering if you see me as, you know, your buddy too._

Hm. Right. I think asking is completely out of the question. Maybe I could sneak it on. But how, exactly?

I snuggled myself into the tangerine colored couch I was sitting on and noticed things about it. Like how the color made me think of fall, although oranges don't have much to do with fall. And the fact that how it was leather made me slightly nauseated - I was sitting on a dead cow.. how cute. Tangerine colored leather, I wonder who came up with that one, and who decided to buy it. It was comfortable, I must admit. I distracted myself by day dreaming of ways I could say something to Jasper, all the while scolding myself about how that wasn't weird. After a few minutes I came up with something, it was my only shot.

"Hey, Jasper?"

Immediately he broke free of the somewhat of a trance he was in and looked my way. "Yes?"

"I was uh, thinking, and.."

"And..."

"And well, I thought of another thing I don't think about James."

"Another thing to add to your list, huh? I really do think you should just divorce the guy. Get it over with."

"Funny."

He gave me an apologetic smile before continuing. "Well, no, I'm being serious! But, what is it you don't like?"

"It's like I'm isolated, you know? I don't talk to anyone except James, and I don't even like to talk to him!"

He laughed at this.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing. Continue."

"No, tell me why you laughed. I want to know what was so humorous!"

Thankfully he understood by my tone of voice that I wasn't actually angry with him, which made me feel even more like we were somewhat friends. I mean, the way we speak to each other, and have gotten to know each other - well, I guess I wouldn't go that far. But the way we talk to each other and everything, it's not the way a therapist would talk to his patient, or at least I think so.

"Well, because. Would you listen to yourself?"

I glared at him. "What do you mean?"

"'I don't talk to anyone but James, and I don't even like to talk to him!' Do you really not realize how funny that sounds?!"

I laughed with him. "I guess so. But still. It's not like I have anyone else to talk to, I'm cooped up in the house all the time like some prisoner."

"You have me to talk to, that's what I'm here for."

"Well, I know. But, that's not what I meant, and besides. Three hours a week. How nice."

_It's time!_ I thought excitedly.

"Well what did you mean, then?"

"I meant like, a friend. You know? I don't have any friends to talk to."

He scoffed, taking mock offense. "Do you not consider me your friend? I'm hurt!"

I laughed lightly. "Do you consider me yours?"

"Well of course! I'm not this carefree with my other patients."

I was beaming. "Oh, okay."

"What's that mean?" He said while smiling that brilliant smile of his. I blushed, I'm not even sure why. It was weird and I hated that I couldn't exactly hide it. Of course he would notice it.

"It doesn't mean anything. Just means 'okay'."

He shook his head at me. "Well, before we waste anymore time. Let's start being serious-" Was he not being serious, then?

I shook my head, vigorously trying to mentally shake myself of these thoughts.

"So, Bella. I was thinking, and I think it might be a good idea if I came by your house tomorrow."

I was shocked. Was he insane?! A good idea to come by my house.. right. How am I gonna explain this to James?

Then it hit me.

I _wont _explain it to James. Maybe then Jasper could see.. and I could be free. Finally.

_Free. _

Actually free. The word felt so good to repeat over and over in my head.

I must've been talking to myself in my head for a good minute or two, because Jasper had been saying my name.

"Oh, sorry. What?"

He stared at me for a minute, as if expecting me to go back to talking to myself in my head, and then continued.

"Well, uh. I was saying that I think it'd be a good idea if I came by your house tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Just because I think that if I saw what your life is like then I could understand what you mean by.. 'rough', although I'm sure it'd be a little less 'rough', considering I'm there. Then I could ask your husband about how you acted before the accident. Id have something more to work with."

I tried to act like it wasn't a big deal to me, and my whole life wasn't riding on this.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but still. It's important.

"Oh.. uh. I guess. Yeah, sure, alright."

He smiled. "Okay, then! I'll come around three?"

"James wont be home."

"Oh, okay. What time is good then?"

"Hm." I thought about it for a minute, I had to think of a good time. Enough time to set up, and make it more than obvious for Jasper while doing it all without James knowing. What would be the perfect time.. when James got home from work, of course. Right before, perfect. That'll set James off.

I was overflowing with excitement. I'm surprised I didn't freak Jasper out by shaking with it.

"Around seven. Actually. Seven. On the dot. Ill have dinner ready and everything."

"Alright, then. I think that's about all the time we have for today, perfect timing, huh?"

"Yeah." I said bitterly.

He stood up and so did I. I went to hug him until I noticed he was extending his hand and I was instantly embarrassed. My face was probably as red as a tomato, and I tried to play it off, badly. I shook his hand and mumbled a goodbye before turning to stumble out of the room. "Uh, Bella?"

I turned around. "Yeah?"

_He extended his arms._

Whether it was to spare my feelings or because he actually did want to hug me I didn't know, and I didn't care. I hugged him lightly, trying hard to make it seem like I hadn't really, really wanted this. As he let go he said "See you tomorrow." and grinned at me.

I know he didn't mean anything by it, aside from he'll see me tomorrow, but I felt like he did.

"Right. See you, then." I smiled at him before stumbling out of the room and walking out to the parking lot, seeing James in the car waiting for me, as usual.


	7. Patience

I'm sorry, I've probably lost all my readers by now haha. But, I had a virus, so we had to send it in and there were so many passwords on the computer that the computer technicians couldn't even get in the system. And it took my dad forever to think of the password.. "Celtics" -_-

Anyway, this was requested and I thought it was a good idea, so im sorry for the wait.

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Twilight or Jasper Whitlock. **

**...or Crystal Castles!**

* * *

**Jasper POV**

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I was starting to feel like this whole situation with Bella was turning out to be a complete waste. It's been an entire six months, and I was getting nowhere. But then again I guess that's how these things work sometimes. If she doesn't want to tell me she doesn't have to, but what would be the point of sitting in silence for an hour almost everyday? All I was getting was that she's been seeing the same thing in her mind happened, as if it's happened before. Which could mean one of two things - she's regaining her memory slowly, or these events that she's seeing have happened previously, as if they argue constantly. That's the farthest I've gotten in the past six months. It's like she doesn't want to be helped. There are other people that could use my help - that would be willing to use my help. I can make this work, I can. I just have to be patient.

Today she decided memory wasn't important, and that she didn't want to remember. Which frustrated me a little, if she doesn't want to remember than why is she here? I want her to understand, but she can be so stubborn. "It is important though, don't you see? Don't you want to know how you used to be?"

"I - er - no?"

I felt a lot of emotions at once. Annoyed, surprised, flabbergasted if you will. I really need to work on my patience. "Really? Hm."

She didn't speak, so I stared off. All I could think about was the fact that she didn't want this – or so it seemed. I started to think about ways I could get her to open up, questions I could ask, something to make her snap; but nothing was coming to mind. So I started to think of irrelevant things, something I'm almost positive she was doing as well. I wondered what my mom was doing right now, what my sister Rosalie was up to, and what some of my friends were doing while I was sitting around thinking. I glanced at Bella, and had to restrain from laughing. She was staring at the couch she was sitting on as if it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen. I don't exactly blame her, I mean, and orange couch doesn't really go with the room. I'd much prefer a light brown but it doesn't matter much. I continued to stare off until Bella finally decided to speak.

"Hey, Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"I was uh, thinking, and.."

She seemed… hesitant. I pushed her on before she decided to go with her classic "nevermind, it doesn't matter" line.

"And…"

"And well, I thought of another thing I don't think about James." I stared at her for a minute, wondering if that was really what she wanted to ask. But went along with it regardless.

"Another thing to add to your list, huh? I really do think you should just divorce the guy. Get it over with."

"Funny."

I gave her an apologetic smile. "Well, no, I'm being serious! But, what is it you don't like?"

"It's like I'm isolated, you know? I don't talk to anyone except James, and I don't even like to talk to him!"

I couldn't help but laugh. I mean think about it, she's married to a man she doesn't like to speak to, she doesn't know why she doesn't like to speak to him and she doesn't want to remember why… how odd.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing. Continue."

"No, tell me why you laughed. I want to know what was so humorous!"

I could tell she wasn't angry, just joking around. That's how it always was, we joke around but we never really get to the point, never figure out what the problem is. It's either joke around or change the subject. I need to know what's going on with her life, but for now I guess ill just have to be patient.

"Well, because. Would you listen to yourself?"

She glared at me. "What do you mean?"

"'I don't talk to anyone but James, and I don't even like to talk to him!' Do you really not realize how funny that sounds?!"

She must've realized I was right because she began to laugh with me. "I guess so. But still. It's not like I have anyone else to talk to, I'm cooped up in the house all the time like some prisoner."

I smiled at her. "You have me to talk to, that's what I'm here for."

"Well, I know. But, that's not what I meant, and besides. Three hours a week. How nice."

Now I was confused. I stared at her with a look I'm sure screamed "what?!"

"Well what did you mean, then?"

"I meant like, a friend. You know? I don't have any friends to talk to."

I wondered if she was messing around again, so I acted like I was offended. "Do you not consider me your friend? I'm hurt!"

She giggled. "Do you consider me yours?"

I thought about it for a minute before answering. "Well of course! I'm not this carefree with my other patients."

She grinned. "Oh, okay."

"What's that mean?" She blushed and I couldn't help but grin. She could be so cute sometimes.

"It doesn't mean anything. Just means 'okay'."

I shook my head. She sure can switch up quickly. "Well, before we waste anymore time. Let's start being serious-" I noticed her face fell but continued anyway.

"So, Bella. I was thinking, and I think it might be a good idea if I came by your house tomorrow."

Her eyes practically flew out of her head. I felt like I was watching a cartoon.

"Well, I mean it might sound weird and everything. It sounds weird to me too, but I just feel like were not getting anywhere here. You know, by just sitting here. I can't seem to break through that thick skull of yours and I think it'd be a good idea if I came by and saw what your home life was like. I know this doesn't usually happen, but I feel like it would help. So, how about it?"

She continued to stare off into space as if she didn't hear a word I said. "Bella? Bella? Did you even listen to me? Beeellllaaaaa…"

Finally she snapped out of it. "Oh, sorry. What?"

I was so annoyed. I stared at her for a minute, wondering if she was seriously listening to me now.

"Well, uh. I was saying that I think it'd be a good idea if I came by your house tomorrow."

"Why?"

I sighed. "Just because I think that if I saw what your life is like then I could understand what you mean by... 'Rough', although I'm sure it'd be a little less 'rough', considering I'm there. Then I could ask your husband about how you acted before the accident. Id have something more to work with."

She was quiet for a minute and I just waited. "Oh.. uh. I guess. Yeah, sure, alright."

I smiled at her, happy that she was finally cooperating. "Okay, then! I'll come around three?"

"James wont be home." She mumbled simply.

"Oh, okay. What time is good then?"

"Hm." She sat their thinking and I chose not to interrupt her. I mean this is kind of last minute.

Suddenly she just burst out and said "Around seven. Actually. Seven. On the dot. Ill have dinner ready and everything."

"Alright, then. I think that's about all the time we have for today, perfect timing, huh?"

"Yeah." She seemed… mad?

I stood up the same moment she did, this was becoming like a routine. "Or not…" I thought as I saw her go for a hug as I went for a handshake. How awkward. She turned a blistering shade of red before shaking my hand and mumbling a goodbye and turning around. I felt a little bad, I didn't know she would want to hug me. "Eh, Why not?" I thought."Uh, Bella?"

She hesitantly turned around before quietly saying "Yeah?"

I grinned widely and extended my arms, knowing she'd get the hint, and if she didn't than not even going to her house would solve this problem.

"See you tomorrow" I said as I let go of her.

"Right. See you, then." She smiled and stumbled out of the room, probably going to wait for her ride home unless her husband was already here.

Her husband… I almost forgot about that for a minute.

I sighed loudly before making sure everything looked nice and neat. Then I sat down and started to think about what it would be like at Bella's house. Is it really, really clean? I don't think he husband would clean… he seems like the type of guy that would want his wife to clean. But Bella seems more like the messy type. I laughed at myself; I was acting like I actually know her. Does she cook? Well, obviously. She said she would have dinner ready. I was pretty anxious, but an excited anxious. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'll finally understand her. Or maybe it's because I'll be with her, outside of this room. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "What are you talking about? She's married." I mentally scolded myself. I sat back in my chair and started to think about what she would cook. Is she on a diet? Is she a vegetarian? I started to realize that I really knew nothing about her. I'm not sure why, but it bothered me immensely. There was a small knock on the door. I shook my head and got up, opening the door for my next patient.

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For some reason I can't really space out my writing.. or at least it doesn't look spaced out on my computer soo sorry if it's hard to read.

Love ya! n__n


	8. Caught in the Act

Volleyball consumes my life.

OH, sorry for the mushroom ravioli reference, it's the first thing that came to mind.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Crystal Castles!**

* * *

My anxiety woke me up this morning. I had a very strange dream, I don't remember what it was about, but I know it was strange. I sat in bed for a while trying to remember what it was about, but when that didn't work out I shook my head and lazily got out of bed.

I walked into the kitchen, focusing on the way my scarlet red nightgown swayed from side to side as I walked. I loved walking around this large house in the morning while James was still asleep, it was so peaceful. So quiet, too. All I could hear were my own footsteps and the sound of my breathing - it was nice.

I searched the pantry, wondering what I should make James for breakfast this morning. "Oh." I said silently as I remembered the new food calender James had made for me. How ridiculous. Does he always need to plan everything out for me? I think I can manage making breakfast on my own. I sighed before mumbling what the calendar said. "French toast with Diced fruit". I shook my head, thinking of how idiotic it was for him to leave me a food calender.

*

After I finished cooking and waking James I went to go take a shower. James doesn't like me to watch him eat breakfast in the mornings. Not that I minded. Why would I want to watch him eat? Thoughts like these spewed throughout my mind as the warm water pounded on my back, washing away any annoyance James had left in me.

*

I had decided to make mushroom ravioli. Im no chef, but I do cook alot and this is one of James favorite meals. I noticed myself start to hope that Jasper wasn't allergic to mushrooms. I wasn't done cooking yet and I had a good half hour before Jasper was supposed to show up so I changed ..again. Not that what im wearing will matter once James gets home. I was lost in thought. Should I wear something Jasper likes? Now that I know what he likes. I don't own many things _I_ like, James is picky about the way I dress. It was a nice day out, and the house was at a perfect temperature so I picked out a deep blue sundress and quickly shut the closet door, knowing that if I left it open I would most likely change my mind again. I didn't know what to do with my hair, I never do. I just put some mousse in it to keep it from frizzing and let it fall in it's natural waves.

I went downstairs to check on the ravioli and the bell rang. Caught a little off guard, I checked the time. 6:50. I became paranoid. Within a minute I was thinking all sorts of things - Did James leave work early? He only leaves work early when he's really, really angry. Was Jasper early? That'd be much more.. approved.

I walked over and opened the door, instantly relieved to see Jasper. "You're early!" I said a little too hysterically.

"Bad timing?" He asked shyly. "I mean, I could drive around the block or something. It's just that I found the house a little sooner than I thought I would."

"Uh, no no it's fine! Come in. I was just about to check dinner."

"Alright." He said with a small smile.

I led him into the living room and we sat down for a minute or two, just talking.

"Well it's a nice place you've got here." He said after a moment of laughing.

"Oh, thanks." I blushed, not wanting to admit that it wasn't actually mine.

"No problem. Hey weren't you supposed to be checking on dinner?"

I felt the blood rush to my face. "Oh! You're right" I mumbled before rushing out of the room, hoping it wasn't ruined.

I heard him laughing from the other room. "Hey, it's not funny!"

He laughed harder. "It's a little funny."

I scoffed and checked on the food. "Damn" I muttered to myself, realizing that I had forgot to set the water to boil. The only thing that was done was the bertolli sauce; however the ravioli was already stuffed, so it would only take about three minutes for them to boil. I put the water to a boil as I double-checked all my ravioli; I had to make sure they were sealed well around the edges. As the water came to a boil, I salted it, stirred, and one by one started to cook the ravioli.

"You okay in there?" Jasper called.

"Yeah, almost done!"

He laughed again. "Okay."

The bell rang. Shit, shit, shit.

"Oh, hey ill get it." He said.

"Um no that's alright, I've got it!"

He laughed again. "No, it's okay. You just continue with your.. whatever you're making."

Then it hit me. James had rung the bell. Why would he ring the bell? He has a key. The hysterics came back. Maybe it's someone else. But who? No, it can't be anyone else, it's James. Maybe he forgot his key at home. No, he didn't I had handed it to him. He could've lost his keys? Too organized for that. He saw the car. Jasper's car; He wanted to make a scene.

"No, Jasper really, I've -"

Then I heard the sound of James voice. "Bella, what the hell is this?!"

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Sorry, had to do it.

love ya!


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